Tip: Lose Friends if Necessary to Lose Weight

13 Responses

  1. Stefan says:

    I decided to get my support from internet instead. By doing so there are new people encouraging me every day and it feels great. Unfortunately I still have close friends convincing me to have a good time by drinking on the weekends. Just to mention an example I ended up with 1600 extra calories this Saturday just because I went out with my friends. It’s extremely difficult to say no since it’s such but what about all those extra calories? For now I get around by reducing my daily intake and “save up” for the weekends but I’m not sure if that will work in the long run.

  2. Jaybird says:

    This is the best I’ve ever read. It’s soooo true. I don’t want to die but I have so many people in my life that don’t care how they look how they feel or how they’re hurting themselves by stuffing themselves with crap all the time. All my friends are really overweight and a couple have some serious medical issues. I want to help us all change 🙁

  3. Susan says:

    This was very well written. Thanks for posting. Through the laughter, this article did make me stop and think of the Berthas in my life. The decision to eliminate the toxic people from my life, although difficult will in the end be better for my health, I never thought of it from that perspective before. Thanks

  4. Melody says:

    I don’t expect everyone (or anyone, really) to have to work around my personal decision to make a better life for myself. One of my goals is to teach myself to have self control so I can maintain a healthier lifestyle long-term. When I get into these situations, I use them as practice for this goal and force myself to make smarter choices. Does a friend want to go out for 20 cent wings? Ok, I’ll have a smaller than normal, healthy meal at home before going and then have 1 beer and a couple of wings, and munch on the celery if I feel like I want more. It would be more than I would normally consume and it’s not something I would do on a regular basis, but it certainly won’t break my calorie bank

    Does Bertha want to go to lunch at Five Guys and order a Bacon Cheeseburger and huge order of fries? That’s fine, I’ll get a Little Burger loaded in veggies and eat a couple of her fries. (I have a close friend like this. I see how big/ out of shape she is, and I use her consumption as a challenge to do better for myself.)

    While it is smart to cut out anyone who might be deriding you for not eating or drinking more, I don’t think you have to cut out these types of hang-outs or people from your life. I don’t think that’s sustainable either. Moderation, smart choices in the moment, and a few extra minutes at the gym. It might slow down my weight loss a little bit, but it certainly won’t derail the train.

  5. jollyreaper says:

    It’s a good article but the question is what works best for you, the individual. Some people can moderate, go out to a bar and not have anything while still enjoying the company of others. Some people can’t; if they avoid the bar they can avoid the booze calories but if they go they’re drinking.

    You have to really know what kind of friends you have and know what kind of person you are. You need to know your own limitations. Good friends won’t try and sabotage you. Bad friends are simply looking for a drinking/partying buddy and aren’t going to be your lifelong, rewarding kind of friend.

  6. Tyler says:

    It’s not a terrible thing that they necessarily do that, neither is it a bad thing that they invite you. You can’t blame them for wanting to spend time with you. It’d just be nice if a) they could invite you to do something, you know, active, or if they can’t do that (which I understand!) b) encourage you to eat/drink healthy while you’re out.

  7. Tyler says:

    Thanks, Jaybird. I try.

  8. Tyler says:

    It will be much better for you in the long run. And not necessarily eliminate, but moderate, just like everything else!

  9. Tyler says:

    I completely agree with you. I don’t expect anybody to change because of me, either. As I said above, moderation is the key. You can’t eliminate going out to a game with a friend.

  10. Tyler says:

    Very good point. Good friends won’t try and sabotage you. Even if they invite you to go out to Applebees or something and they get the monster pasta with extra cheese, hopefully they will encourage you to not to do the same and to be concious of your healthy lifestyle.

    Ultimately, though, it’s our bodies. We’re responsible for what we put in our mouths and everybody else can do what they’d like.

  11. Kim says:

    On the flip side, overweight people often cut out all the people who are trying to get them to change in favor of those who support their sedentary lifestyle. It’s easier than being nagged all the time, and they can continue to be in denial about how unhealthy they really are. When they finally decide it’s time to change, they’ve alienated all the people who could have helped them along the way. Bitter irony.

  12. Lisa says:

    I wrote about this over the summer…I struggled with even talking about it but decided it was worth being honest.

    I lost a lot of friends in my journey to lose 100+ pounds. Just like you describe people start to go by the wayside…the unhealthy eaters, the friends who I really only had food in common with, the friends that were jealous of my weight loss and would rather sabotage me than be supportive…

    There was never any big confrontation the not-true -friends just slowly disappeared my life. I simply didn’t have time. I was focusing on losing weight, eating healthy and working out in the gym. I made new friends who were active. Old friends that wanted to just eat or go to the movies weren’t interested in going for a hike or bike ride. Oh well! It was there loss! I love my life now. I’m very active and I’ve done so many great things since I’ve lost the weight.

  13. Lisa says:

    You make a great point! It’s all about choices and being responsible for our own decisions. I never ever tried to pressure/guilt/convince a friend and it was “my way or the highway” in terms of healthy living…but I made it very clear that I wouldn’t make bad choices for myself anymore.

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